“Congratulations! Aapko beti hui hain,” said the nurse to the anticipating father. Tears of joy rolled down his eyes, went in, met his lovely wife with the girl child in her arms. They looked at each other with happiness on their faces but, same thoughts crossed their mind, ‘parayi dhan’ hain woh.
Indian society is such a family where everyone criticizes everyone and everything. Some say, the culture that is being followed is just the way of life whereas some say, it is something which has been taught by our forefathers and hence, followed. Such an irony it is, in the land where Goddesses are praised and worshipped, girl childs are looked down upon and even killed as a foetus.
As soon as a girl child takes her first step into the world, the parents, the society, the family, they immediately think of savings, education, dowry and all the criticisms. Girls somehow, surprisingly become an Everest of responsibilities on her families’ shoulder. When a girl starts growing, a lot of efforts is put in by the parents because they don’t want their daughter to be imperfect and want their daughter to be one in a million so that, the society cannot point any finger at.
A girl completes her schooling, graduates, has her own dreams, aspirations, which sometimes stay stagnant and does not get an opening for a fresh air of breath to come in to breath life in her dreams and aspirations. She reaches a certain age of twenty four-twenty five and talks about her marriage starts. ‘She has to get married, she cannot just stay unmarried, she…this, she…that,’ are the few things which a family thinks and goes through. Sometimes it feels as if families get their daughter married off due to the fear of society and its criticisms. Their dreams, “crushed.”
She fights, claws, argues with the oblivious of what she wants and what she should do and not, whatever the reason may be, a girl child has always been fed by her mother that a girl should always listen to her father and sacrifice. Sacrifice. “You are made for sacrifice and compromise,” says the mother. The so-called culture of the society.
“Babul ki duaen leti jaa, jaa tujhko sukhi sansaar mile.” This song is sung while the ‘beti’ of the house leaves her ‘paraya’ house and goes to her new and permanent house. With all the dowry, marriage preparation and celebration, long time hard-work, all put in, only for a day, the day when they ‘bidaai’ their daughter and hand her over to her new family.
Tears rolling down, sadness all around but a certain amount of happiness and relief which a parent goes through because all these years they have been under a pressure and a mission to complete, which they have completed and dusted their hands off.
What does a family go through after all this is done? What does a daughter go through? No one knows except them. The father and the mother when recollecting what they have done, just to be covered from the criticism, they feel bad only when they come to know about their daughter. The daughter be happy or unhappy, the parents feel for her and do not let her go, but it’s too late, isn’t it? If things are to be done, they should have a proper process. Done only for themselves and not for the society. Indian society should work on this, if not, then things like this will continue like the ‘culture’ and no one will be able to do anything, except for saying, ‘there she goes, there she goes again.’
joytirkey 